You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
