woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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