two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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