So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
