The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
