he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
