I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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