I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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