Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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