at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
