I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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