He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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