His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
