It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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