went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize