Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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