omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
