girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
