there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
