Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
