I've blown a few things in my day
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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