Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I need moral support for this bender
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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