just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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