did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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