i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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