Non-Jews are for practice
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize