i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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