She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
