we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
