Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
This girl is more easily done than said...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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