Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
