Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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