he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
