Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
