Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
