i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
