MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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