I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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