lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
