FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
