Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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