Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
