Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
