Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize