I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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