Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
