You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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