If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
