Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So many bounce houses so little time
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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