dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The Olympian is in my bed
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
