Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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