I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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