Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
