Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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