So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
