Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
