He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
