i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
