can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
