I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize