Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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