That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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