Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's blow job season.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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