I wannas sexs uuuuu
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
