marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
