Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
