Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
