Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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