dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
