My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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