I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize