so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
