ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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